


Turn Winter Into Spring

by Bittodeath



Series: You Make My World A Better Place [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha Wade Wilson, Alpha/Omega, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky-centric, Explicit Sexual Content, Extremely Dubious Consent, Falling In Love, Father-Son Relationship, Friendship, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hydra (Marvel), Kidnapping, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Multiple Personalities, Murder, Omega Tony Stark, Past Relationship(s), Suicide, Temporary Character Death, Time Loop, Violence, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 17:20:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18760945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bittodeath/pseuds/Bittodeath
Summary: {Companion piece to Two Worlds One Family}The Winter Soldier is stuck in a time-loop - and slowly, he remembers.





	Turn Winter Into Spring

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't read 2W1F, this will likely make absolutely no sense. If you have, please mind the tag. This is way darker than 2W1F. All warnings from 2W1F apply.  
> Archive Warnings Apply, though all character deaths are temporary due to the time-loop.  
> \- Bucky/Wade is consensual but neither safe or sane.  
> \- Bucky/Tony is extremely dubious consent (heat thing).
> 
> I use three names for Bucky, and it is important to the story: the Winter Soldier, James, and Bucky. James and Bucky are not the same personality (yes, it is important plot-wise).
> 
> The endgame, as you probably know, is Bucky/Tony. There is past Steve/Bucky, and Wade/Bucky are friends with benefits.

Busting into the Avengers building had been surprisingly easy. The Winter Soldier had been prepared for a lot of challenges, but it appeared he could just use raw force and make his way to the upper storeys. Where the man from the river would be – the man who bore the scent of a child, a child who had _his_ scent, and he needed to know why. His head had been buzzing and hurting ever since he’d seen the man on the helicarrier, and he didn’t like that. Sometimes, he would have flashes – _memories?_ – but they were too painful to handle and just made him lash out.

He simply tore through the wall – plaster was easy enough to burst through – and prowled forward, into the living-room where the man – _my mission, my mission_ , and his left eye itched ever since he didn’t complete it – was sitting comfortably with people who could only be his friends. They froze when he appeared, which was not an unusual reaction. Suddenly though, a small creature zoomed from the table to him, faster than he could react, and as they all cried out, the little thing grabbed onto his leg with a loud “Bucky Bear!” full of joy.

His muscles seized up, pain flaring, and everything became dark.

*

He opened his eyes, biting back a growl at the terrible headache he had. Blinking, he recognized the naked concrete ceiling above him: he was in his cell, the place he remained in whenever he was on a several days mission. The place was bare – a cot, a sink, the loo, and a little table with a chair – and functional. He started to get up and stilled. His whole body ached. It always did when they de-froze him, but then his brain pushed the pain back so he could focus. He rarely ached like this when he’d been out of cryogenics for several days. His body sent him mixed signals of hunger, thirst, full bladder, raw scent gland and overall pain in his muscles and his bones. His jaw ached, but it always did. That was a consequence of always gritting his teeth and clenching his jaw, something he didn’t even notice anymore.

Except he was strangely aware of his own body, today. When it was time for his rut, his body did that – make him aware of everything he was until he was dizzy with it. He didn’t know when his last rut had been, it was not like he could remember. Inhaling sharply, he pushed himself up and tended to all the warning signals he could, his muscles slowly uncoiling as he did so.

A man came to get him, and the flash of a memory went through his mind – of this same man in a car with him. Wiping his memory was very effective, though sometimes he got impressions. Nothing precise – the cold of freshly fallen snow, the deep red of pooling blood, the warmth of the sun on his back. He stared at the man, analysing – a trained soldier, from his bearing.

“Soldier”, he called him, and the Winter Soldier cocked his head aside.

He knew it was him he was calling, but something in him wanted to reply “I’m not the Soldier.” It was stupid, he knew. He was the Soldier – the Winter Soldier, HYDRA’s hand. The man didn’t notice his moment of confusion. Good. He rattled information about his mission: they would be launching Project Insight soon. It would be a grand moment. _People are gonna die, Bucky_ , a voice said in his head, but there was no one else than the man and pain searing through his head – the voice was too painful, and he couldn’t wouldn’t, endure it.

He caught the day’s date while he was outside – June 30th, 2013. It evoked him absolutely nothing, but he tucked it away preciously. Innocuous information could be very important. Hours passed, but the pain didn’t fade. He could function well with it still, but it was distracting. He opened his mouth to say something about it, and closed it again before he could. There was no use: he was operational, and it was all that mattered.

*

He opened his eyes, biting back a growl at the terrible headache he had. Blinking, he recognized the naked concrete ceiling above him: he was in his cell, the place he remained in whenever he was on a several days mission.

Something was wrong. Something.

_I’m with you to the end of the line._

A smell – a child’s smell, seared at the forefront of his mind. It was important. It was important, and something was wrong, because he _remembered_. It was just a flash – a toothy grin and red hair – but he remembered it and his body still ached from the pain of a memory wipe. Something was wrong.

“Soldier”, a man called, and he knew this man, but couldn’t remember him.

He took a breath, staring back at him.

“The child”, he said, and his voice was rough from disuse.  
“What? What are you talking about?” the man said, frowning.

He licked his lips.

“The child”, he repeated. “Who is the child?”  
“The asset is unstable”, the man said, “I repeat: the asset is unstable.”  
“Answer me”, he said, stalking to the bars of his cell. “Who is the child?”  
“Step back, Soldier”, the man growled. “Step back!” and he was aiming his weapon at him.

Bucky stepped forward and wrapped his fingers around the bars, peering at the man. Yes, he knew him.

“Who. Is. The child? _ANSWER ME_ ”, he yelled, tugging violently at the bars, and dust rained down on them – and there was the sound of a shot reverberating.

He looked down, at the red hole in his chest and the blood rapidly filling his ratty t-shirt. A shot straight to the heart, though the man was white with fear.

“The child”, the Winter Soldier murmured, and he felt the tangy, metallic taste of blood in his mouth, knowing that the shot was fatal.

His legs gave out, but it didn’t matter anyway. He was already dead.

*

He opened his eyes with a gasp, sitting upright and patting his chest – but he was intact, though his heart was hammering in fear, and his hands shaking. He _remembered_.

The man came, “Soldier”, and he was given his mission, _Project Insight_ , and he caught the date – June 30th, 2013.

_I have lived this day already._

*

The loop was five days long, from the moment he opened his eyes, and it was always the same five days. If he died, it just started again. He had trouble remembering, but it was getting back, more and more. Not memories of the past yet, but memories of the loop. The man was Rumlow, and he still had no idea who the child was. He hadn’t seen him again. The man in blue called him “Bucky”, for some reason, and it made pain flare in his mind every single time, and he had no idea why, but he didn’t want him to stop. This pain, he would keep. There was always a reason for pain. The third important man was the tin-man in his flying suit. His scent was intoxicating, and the Winter Soldier had carefully labelled all memories of him as _dangerous, do not approach._

He counted fifteen loops before he decided he had enough intel to try to get away.

*

He awoke, but didn’t open his eyes and kept his breathing slow, as if he were still sleeping. He had no weapon, not when he awoke in his cell, but he didn’t need one: he _was_ a weapon. The man – Rumlow – came, and clanked against the bars when he saw that he hadn’t woken up yet. The Winter Soldier didn’t move.

“The Asset isn’t moving”, he said in his radio, “I’m going in.”

Rumlow opened the door and stepped in, moving carefully. The Winter Soldier still didn’t move. Rumlow’s fingers brushed against his neck, searching for a pulse – and the Winter Soldier attacked. His wrist gave up with a sickening crunch and Rumlow yelled in pain, but Bucky was faster. He punched him once, in the face, with his metal fist. Rumlow fell like a puppet with his strings cut. The radio crackled.

“Rumlow? Report.”

He crushed it under his boot and moved for the door. There were corridors and he only knew a precise pattern through them, the ones he took for his mission. He needed more time. An alarm blared overhead, and he heard soldier coming as he made a dash for one of the corridors. He didn’t still when he came face to face with five soldiers, nor did he when they start to shoot.

He was ten meters away from his cell when he collapsed, drowning in his own blood from the eighteen bullets lodged in his torso. _I can do better._

*

It took him twenty other loops to admit that he couldn’t break out of the base alone, and thirty others to come to the conclusion that just breaking away once he was out for the mission just wouldn’t cut it. Somehow, they always managed to get him – and when they didn’t, they launched Project Insight and apparently he _was_ a target. The man in blue was growing more familiar, and he could feel memories pulling at his mind. He had known that man, before – the man who called him _Bucky_ as if he had broken his fucking heart. The Winter Soldier had started to refer to himself as “Bucky”, in the relative privacy of his own mind, to test it out. See how it felt. It felt like an old coat – threadbare, washed-out and a size too tight – but he couldn’t give it up. If there was something real, if there was one thing real about all of this, it was this name.

If he couldn’t do it himself, he had to have an ally. He tried contacting the man in blue five times, but getting him to trust him, especially the first day, when he didn’t even know “Bucky” was alive, took up too much time. So he tried to find an ally in the base, but that proved useless as well.

The answer came to him on the night between the first and the second day of a loop. He was in a motel room while he prepared for his mission, his weapons around him. To be fair, the answer was a dream, or rather, the dream of a memory. A Winter Soldier memory, violent and bloody. It was Jacksonville, a few years ago. Not that much, actually. A special unit of the CIA had gotten a _tad_ too close to confidential HYDRA information, so the Winter Soldier had been sent to eliminate them. That was what he was good at.

Maybe it was the sun, or maybe it was something else – that day, the Winter Soldier didn’t exactly complete his mission. He still remembered the wide eyes of the youngish Alpha as he stalked towards him. Still remembered how skilfully he used both firearms and katanas. But he was still merely a man, when the Winter Soldier was… _other_. The man had gulped when the Winter Soldier had pointed his gun at him as he laid, broken and defeated amongst the corpses of his comrades. So sure he would die today. “You owe me”, the Winter Soldier had said in his cold, rough, disused voice, before he lowered his gun. “Remember.”

The man was named Wade Wilson, Bucky found out when he remembered him. And he was still alive, which apparently was a miracle in itself. Had turned to being a mercenary, though, and could be contacted at Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Children. Bucky smirked. There, he had his way out. He sneaked out of the motel – no one would think him capable of doing so, anyway – and took his bike to drive all the way to Vancouver. Even going above limitations, it was still a long way there, but he couldn’t risk taking the plane. Luckily, it seemed that Wade had been on a mission in Washington on June 30th and had just gone back home. He stopped three times, for nothing more than three hours of sleep each time in shitty motel rooms, before he got to Vancouver. He didn’t bother putting on his gloves to hide his metal hand – not in Sister Margaret’s, no – and strode in, his arm gleaming menacingly. A quick look around the room: Wilson was nowhere in sight, which wasn’t that surprising. He went to the bar, pulled out a stool and glared at the bartender.

“I’m looking for Wade Wilson”, he said, and the guy’s eyebrows shot up.  
“And what do you want with m- Oh fuck it’s you”, a guy dressed in a red lycra suit, for some reason, said just next to him.

His moves were just the same, the Winter Soldier noticed. And he still had katanas strapped to his back.

“Wade Wilson”, Bucky drawled, staring at him. “Still alive, I see.”  
“Winter Soldier”, Wade replied, and he seemed a bit… star-struck? Giddy? Bucky wasn’t exactly sure.  
“It’s Bucky”, Bucky said. “You owe me big time.”  
“Please tell me it’s a blowjob I will gladly-”

Bucky slapped his metal hand over Wade’s mouth – or rather, over his mask, struggling not to grimace when he felt the hot wetness of a tongue against his palm through the fabric. He smirked, though.

“I guess now I know why they call you the Merc with a Mouth”, he whispered seductively, and Wade actually _whimpered_. It had been quite some time since he last had so much fun. “Sadly, I’m not here for your mouth, Wade. I will need your help… later”, he amended. “For now, all I need is a phone number to contact you.”

The bartender handed Wade a pen, who uncapped it and took Bucky’s flesh hand to write a phone number on his palm. Bucky slowly lowered his – now drenched, ugh, luckily it didn’t rust – metal hand from his mouth and stared at the phone number until it was seared into his memory.

“Call me anytime”, Wade murmured, and Bucky grinned.

Wade would totally come to help him bust out and raze HYDRA to the ground. Once that was done, he would be free to find out _why_ he was living the same five days over and over, and who the guy in blue was. For this loop, he had a day and a half left before rewind – unless, of course, he died before.

He almost stabbed Wade’s hand when it crept over his thigh, before he sighed when he realized what it was. He pulled his dagger back, but slid it up Wade’s torso, up to his throat, and watched it bob. He had guessed Wade was sucker for danger the first time they met – obviously he was right.

“Why the costume?” he asked as the point of his dagger caught at the slip where the mask met the suit.  
“Scars”, Wade replied bluntly. “Not pretty.”

Bucky hummed and leaned forward. There was something weird to Wade’s scent, something sickly and just plain wrong that he hadn’t had before. He guessed that answered that. He flicked his dagger aside and put it back in its place, feeling Wade’s eyes over his metal hand.

“See something you like?” he asked, one eyebrow arched.  
“Nice arm”, Wade said.  
“I bet it’d look pretty ‘round your neck”, Bucky replied, and Wade’s breath distinctively hitched. “Seriously?” Bucky said when his eyes dropped down and he noticed the bulge in Wade’s uniform. A sadistic grin graced his lips as he leaned in to whisper in Wade’s ear, the Merc going still as he talked, only letting out a whimper when he pulled away.  
“Are you for real?” Wade asked with something akin to awe in his voice.

Bucky glanced at the wrist-band on Wade’s arm, and took a drink from Weasel – as the bartender had introduced himself.

“I still have… a little more than forty hours before I need to go. Your call, Wade.”

There was a moment of silence, and then Wade pulled his mask off, revealing heavily scarred skin and staring back at Bucky.

“Still sure?”

Bucky arched an eyebrow.

“Are you trying to scare me?”  
“I’m gonna get laid~”, Wade sing-sang, pulling his mask over his face once more.

 

Bucky had to give him some credit: Wade did insane things with his mouth. He remembered wondering, _before_ , before he was the Winter Soldier, what it would be like to be with an Alpha. He absolutely loved Omegas – their sweet scents filling up his nose, and eyes staring at him in delight – but Alphas had this… Something. _Challenging_. He remembered meeting a pretty woman Alpha, but that was all. A part of him knew he had never had a chance to be with another Alpha: he would have remembered. _Would you, though?_ the little voice in his mind provided, and he elected to ignore it and focus on Wade, on his knees for him.

“Mmh, you’re not half-bad”, he hummed mischievously, and Wade made a sound of protest. His taunt didn’t profit him for long, a gasp of pleasure followed by one of surprise escaping his lips when Wade’s _gloved_ finger, slick with lube, slipped into him effortlessly. “You bastard”, he gritted, and Wade seemed to be incredibly proud of himself when he pulled off.  
“Gonna milk you dry babe”, Wade slurred, crooking his fingers and _that_ was his prostate, Bucky figured when pleasure shoot up his spine.  
“You can try”, Bucky panted, gripping his head to thrust back into his eager mouth.

Wade gagged around him and that was what set the Winter Soldier off, spilling without so much as a warning – not like Wade would want one anyway, he seemed all too happy there. His finger stilled for a moment, before it moved again, thrusting lazily before another one joined in on the fun. The Winter Soldier tensed for a second, his breath coming in harsh gasps, before he focused on relaxing, his head dropping back and hitting the wall quite hard. He looked down again, meeting Wade’s heated gaze, feeling like for the first time, maybe, the Winter Soldier had met his equivalent.

“If you knot me”, he growled, letting his metallic thumb drag over Wade’s bottom lip, “you can say goodbye to your junk.”  
“You can try”, Wade replied, unfazed. “It’ll grow back, eventually.”  
“Freak”, the Winter Soldier muttered as he pulled him up, biting down hard enough on his lip to break the skin.  
“You’re just as much as a nutcase as me”, Wade replied. “Maybe not the same kind of nuts, but a nutcase anyway.”  
“You talk way too much”, Bucky said, pulling him in for a kiss that was downright messy. He could still taste himself on his tongue. “Lie back”, he added, nodding to the nearby bed of the dingy motel room he’d rented for his stay in Vancouver.

Wade stripped off his uniform first, before he did just that, watching intently as Bucky pulled off his shirt and rolled his shoulders, metal arm whirring as he did so. He then pulled his pants down completely and stepped out of them, and another would have made him self-conscious of the scars running over his body, especially the ones surrounding his prosthetic – but Wade didn’t. He was just as broken as he was, in a different way. Wade was watching him with his interest clearly etched on his face, and Bucky climbed over him, settling in a kneeling position with his knees firmly planted into the mattress. Slowly, he guided Wade’s cock to his entrance, lowering himself and keeping his grimace of discomfort internal as he breached him. The Winter Soldier was not a patient man, nor one to stop at a minor inconvenience – he didn’t even stop when he was in severe pain, to be truly honest.

Once Wade was all the way in and the discomfort was mostly gone, the Winter Soldier slid his metal hand up, curling the fingers around Wade’s throat. Lightly at first, he started to squeeze slowly, revelling in the tension coiling in Wade’s body and the instinctive thrusts up of his hips.

“If I die”, Wade gasped, “it means you squeezed too hard.”

Bucky snorted, his grip relaxing for a second, and then tightening again as he started to move his hips up and down. Pleasure was starting to make itself known, and there was something absolutely mind-blowing at the knowledge that he was letting himself be taken. His moves were slow and careful at first, but quickly evolved into something rough and rabid, especially when the slight asphyxiation made Wade buck into him. It would be all too easy to squeeze a little too hard, or a little too long. That didn’t seem to deter Wade, all the contrary, as Bucky soon felt his knot start to expand. He narrowed his moves so that it wouldn’t catch, tightening his grip more firmly and watching as Wade gasped as he came, spilling into him. Without the knot keeping it in, Bucky immediately felt the spunk sliding down over the back and inside of his thighs, the feeling going straight to his own cock, held loosely in his flesh hand and making him come with a grunt.

“There”, he gasped, “you didn’t die.”  
“Maybe a little”, Wade answered with a lazy grin, his rough palms sliding up his thighs to squeeze the muscles. “That was hot.”

Bucky huffed and collapsed beside him, this time letting himself grimace at the soreness he felt, and the dampness of his lower body. Now, he knew he preferred an Omega’s slick – sugary sweet and addicting – but the experience was… pleasurable. Maybe pleasurable enough for a repeat. He closed his eyes for a quick nap, his post-orgasmic haze blooming into sleepiness, and for the first time, he dreamed of the past. He dreamed of _Bucky_.

**Bucky was holding the Omega down, his hands almost completely encompassing his waist, and he wondered for a moment if his hands were just _that_ big – but no, it was the Omega who was small, pale, thin and sickly. And yet oh so warm, body flushed red and sweaty from the throes of a heat. Bucky bent over, nibbling over the Omega’s nape, relishing in their closeness, lips trailing over his back.**

**“You’ll look wonderful, Stevie, all round with my cub”, Bucky drawled in a hoarse voice. “And I will dote on you even more than usual.”**

**His Omega made a keening sound, and-**

Bucky opened his eyes, his heart hammering in his chest. He’d had a mate, before. Back when he was still Bucky, just Bucky. An Omega he’d loved more than anything else in the world, an Omega for whom he’d steal the moon. How long ago had that been? How could he forget about his mate? He sat up, dragging his hands over his face. Wade was sleeping next to him, curled up around a pillow. He felt the inexplicable urge to push him out of the bed – to make him _hurt_ , and he gulped, shivering at the violent feeling. His hands trembling, he strode to the bathroom and got under a cold shower. He’d had a mate. But he couldn’t feel any kind of bond anymore, so his mate had probably died.

He let out the anguished cry that mounted from his chest, slamming his metal fist against the wall and making a hole into it. He couldn’t bring himself to care.

*

The Winter Soldier spirited away Rumlow’s cellphone as soon as he could, when the man came into his cell the way he usually did. He thumbed in Wade’s phone number, and then a quick message – _U O me – 38N 53'33.78" 77W 3' 38.91_ \- before he destroyed the phone. He had been pleasantly surprised by the irony of the base he was kept in: the bunker was hidden under the Triskelion, just as HYDRA was hidden within S.H.I.E.L.D. Now, he just needed to buy time for the notorious Deadpool to arrive.

Wade was surprisingly fast to get there, and Bucky had managed to eliminate fifteen HYDRA agents without any alarm sounding when the mercenary burst in, already covered in blood and other corpse parts as he sauntered over.

“My, you spoil me, Winter Soldier”, Wade quipped. “Villains to kill and an intimate setting, this is the best first date ever.”  
“Shut the fuck up, Wade”, the Winter Soldier huffed, “and gimme a gun.”

The one he’d been using so far was no longer usable. Wade stabbed through the one agent he’d been holding, took their gun and sent it over to Bucky. Wade would have died about six time before they made it out of the base, if he hadn’t been immortal, and the Winter Soldier had absolutely no qualms about using him as a shield.

He got shot in the back when he was about ten meters out of the underground base.

“Are you fucking serious?” he said at the burst of pain, attracting Wade’s attention.

He collapsed to his knees as the merc tried to save him. A clean shot, that had sectioned a main artery. He was drained of his blood within minutes.

*

It took Wade and him four tries before Bucky managed to make it out of the Triskelion alive, stealing the closest rolling thing he could find – namely, a bike. His bike, to be precise. It would have been a nice drive, if Wade had stopped chatting his ear off about riding together into the sunset, the arms he had wrapped around his waist straying down more often than not. The Winter Soldier didn’t do feelings or delicacy: he stabbed Wade’s hand, pinning him to the seat of the bike, an idea Wade didn’t like very much.

“Say”, he asked, “I’m searching for a guy who might know who I am”, he said once Wade had stopped pouting after they’d stopped around two hours away from the Triskelion.  
“You don’t know who you are?” Wade replied, his voice slightly mocking.  
“This guy once called me Bucky, so I guess that’s what I was called before I became… the Winter Soldier. Wears a red, white and blue uniform and fights with a round shield. Impressive blue eyes.”

Wade choked on the chimichangas he had somehow found and was currently inhaling.

“Did you just describe Captain America?” he croaked, a laugh easing itself into his voice.  
“The name would be an accurate description of his costume”, Bucky admitted. “Captain America… Do you know where I can find him?”

Wade shrugged.

“He lives at Avengers Tower, with all the others”, he simply replied. “And you have something like zero chance of approaching him and not getting decked.”  
“ _Thank you_ for your useful input”, Bucky gritted. “Avengers Tower. Where’s that?”  
“New York”, Wade said around his mouthful. “Wait, you really intend to just go there and ask who you are?”  
“You have a better idea?”  
“Uhm, Google? There’s a shit-ton of intel about Cap’, and he’s only been back for like, three years? So if you knew him, it’s…” His eyes widened. “Hold on a second”, he breathed, “don’t freak out, okay?”  
“I’m not freaking out, you’re freaking out”, Bucky pointed out.  
“No, I’m not”, Wade protested. “Just… hold on.”

He pulled out his phone, thumbed in something, and gathered Bucky’s hair in his hand as if in a bun, putting his phone right next to his face. His eyes widened a bit more.

“What the fuck”, he breathed, “you should be dead!”  
“Spill, Wade. Honour your nickname for once.”  
“James Buchanan Barnes”, Wade dropped. “You… Well, Sergeant Barnes was Cap’ best friend. I say they were totally banging but no one listens to me”, he whined. “Anyway, Barnes died during the war. And you… look insanely like him. And when I met you in Jacksonville, Cap’ was still thought dead too, which means… You’re the Sergeant.”

Bucky pressed his fingers to his temples.

“The war? Which war? There are many wars and I’m pretty sure I’ve been in most of them.”  
“Second World War, duh”, Wade replied. “According to the Smithsonian’s website, you were born on March 10th, 1917.” He looked up from his phone. “You’re ninety-six. Not bad for an old man”, he added with an appreciative look.  
“Please, Wade, _focus_.” Bucky took a deep breath. “Alright. That explains the freezing thing.” He paused. “You talked about the Smithsonian… Where is it?”  
“It was back in DC, dude”, Wade replied. “I suggest you wait a bit before you go there. Unless, of course, you want to die.”  
“That can wait”, Bucky replied drily. “Alright, then Avengers Tower it is. I’ll go to the Smithsonian another day.”

Wade stared at him for a moment.

“You’re pretty chill about all of this. Actually, I’ve been wondering how you figured out how to make your way out while moving in perfect sync with me. I’m pretty sure we never fought together.”  
“Not in this reality”, Bucky agreed, checking the magazine of his handgun.  
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean”, Wade deadpanned.  
“It means”, Bucky answered, looking up, “that I’ve been living the same five shitty days over and over and I’m getting sick of it. Yes, we met before, and yes, we fought together, but not in this reality.”

Wade didn’t say a word for a moment and Bucky thanked his faulty lucky star for the reprieve.

“I would say you’re a complete whack job”, Wade replied after a moment, “if I hadn’t just seen you do some things only a psychic could have done.”  
“I don’t know how ‘Bucky’ would react to this freak show”, the Winter Soldier admitted, “but I’m so done about all this shit. I want to find out why I’m stuck in this loop, and now that I have an idea of who I am and who the guy in blue is, I can move forward and hopefully find something.”  
“Well then, to Avengers Tower it is!” Wade chirped, climbing back on the bike before he turned to him lasciviously. “Say, Bucky, did we fuck? In a previous loop?”  
“Why you asking?” Bucky replied, pushing him back so he could settle on the bike.  
“Well if we did and I don’t remember, it sucks.”

Bucky stared back at him, his back protesting at the position. Then, slowly, he smirked.

“We did”, he confirmed. “You beg nicely, Wilson.”  
“Now that’s just mean”, Wade whined.  
“I’m not exactly a nice guy”, Bucky countered, kicking the bike back to life.

Wade’s answer was lost to the roar of the engine as the Winter Soldier weaved them into the traffic. The Winter Soldier was a dangerous driver. He didn’t know whether it was trait he shared with ‘Bucky’ or if it was the being close to indestructible thing. And with Wade being immortal, he saw no point at driving safely. The Winter Soldier had missions he needed to execute, not moral qualms about other drives maybe getting hurt by his reckless speeding away.

It was a little after noon when they arrived in New York – and more specifically, the area where the Avengers Tower was. Bucky stared at it: the sky-scraper loomed over him, claiming to be safe from invasion. The Winter Soldier had no morals, but the Bucky part that had started to awaken within him reeled in at the rudeness of intruding into someone’s home. Bucky’s mama had raised him good, thank you, and he would make her proud. He took off his muzzle, momentarily overwhelmed as the scents flinging themselves at him, before he stuffed it into his pocket.

Wade trailing after him, in awe at everything, Bucky went to the doors and knocked. _Bullet-proof glass_ , he noted. Inside, he could see a flurry of activities – and a few people staring at him like he was a lunatic. Maybe he wasn’t exactly in his right mind, but-

“Did you just… knock?” Wade said from behind him, hilarity pointing in his voice.  
“I’m trying to be _polite_ , asshole.”  
“Bucky, pal, bud. They’re staring because you’re supposed to ring. See the little button here? The door doesn’t open manually.”  
“Oh it can”, the Winter Soldier replied, rolling his shoulders with an intimidating whirr.  
“Not if you’re trying to be polite”, Wade pointed out, “which, I’m not an expert at, but even I know barging into people’s houses is considered rude by most.”

Bucky huffed, and pushed the button. There was a crackle, and a voice that said:

“Welcome to Avengers Tower and Stark Industries. What can I do for you?”  
“Sergeant James Barnes”, Bucky drawled. “I’m here to see…”  
“Steve Rogers”, Wade whispered behind him.  
“Captain Steve Rogers”, Bucky completed, his brow furrowing at the name. It seemed… familiar.  
“A moment please”, the voice said.

Bucky looked up, feeling eyes on him, and yes, there was a camera pointed straight back at him.

“Mr. Rogers is absent, but Mr. Stark will see you privately, Sergeant Barnes”, the voice said.

The door opened and Bucky strolled in, Wade skipping beside him. A petite woman nearly ran up to him.

“This way, please”, she said, leading them to an elevator. “Mr. Stark will be meeting you in his office.”

She eyed them wearily, clearly a bit frightened. The blood had dried on them, but they didn’t exactly look friendly. The doors dinged open and Bucky stepped into a nice office. A man was standing there, shifting minutely, obviously nervous though he tried to appear composed. He had brown locks and warm eyes that widened at his sight, and Bucky came to a hard stop.

“Shit”, he said, “it’s _you_ ?”

Tin-man. The one Bucky had carefully labelled as _dangerous, do not approach_. The one whose scent drove him to insanity – he could already taste it on his tongue, rich and warm and sweet.

“How… How is it possible?” Tin-Man said.

The Winter Soldier felt Wade take a step back when he shifted his stance to lower his gravity centre. Mr. Stark – Tin-Man – whatever he was called smelled exquisite, and Wade’s Alpha scent smelled more and more like a threat to _his_ quarry.

“Bucky”, Wade called. “Bucky, we should leave. Like, right now. His smell is all wrong and-”

The Winter Soldier turned in a blurry motion, grabbing Wade’s throat with a growl.

“He’s _mine_ ”, he snarled. “ _My_ Omega.”

He wasn’t yet so completely gone as to want to seriously injure the other Alpha, but Wade made the mistake of trying to retaliate. That made the Winter Soldier snap, and throw him through the window, which exploded in millions of pieces.

“Not cool, man!” Wade screamed as he fell.

The Winter Soldier’s eyes were already back to the sweet-smelling, quivering Omega who was scrambling away, gulping as the heat took over.

“Sir”, an electronic voice said, “shall I request assistance from the other Avengers?”  
“No”, Stark replied weakly, “no, no, too dangerous, just keep… keep everyone out.”

He was panting already, his eyes wild but slowly losing their fear to lust. The Winter Soldier could feel his blood thrumming with need – to possess, to mark, to breed. He extended his hand.

“Come here, Omega”, he called, voice deep, and the Omega made a sound, pushing himself from the desk he’d collapsed against to stumble up to him, already tugging on his clothes.  
“A-Alpha”, he said, breathlessly, “Alpha, help.”

The Winter Soldier grinned, baring his teeth, and lunged on his prey. Stark went to the ground with a soft thud, his skin already flushed and rapidly covering in sweat, needy moans falling from his lips as the heat gained intensity.

“Alpha”, he called again, “ _please_.”  
“Mmh, mine, my Omega, _mine_ ”, the Winter Soldier growled, ripping the fabric of his smart dress pants, inhaling deeply the heady scent of a heat-slick Omega wanting him, _needing_ him, as he opened his own trousers.

The Omega gasped, hips lifting off the ground, when he filled him to the brim, a moan of pleasure tearing through his chest. The Alpha immediately felt how soothing it was to be there, taking his Omega and making him cry and gasp and _howl_ – and still needing more, more. There was nothing but his Omega – nothing but his heavenly scent, soft skin, nothing but sweat-damp hair and rumpled clothes, nothing but the slick running down his thighs and coating his length, nothing but the intoxicating sounds he made and the warmth squeezing around him.

He went at it hard and fast, driven by the need pulsing in his veins, his fingers digging into the wooden floor so hard it splintered, release getting closer and closer and promising not only pleasure, but a reprieve from the insidious pain filling his veins if he did not mate and breed _now_. He came with a harsh gasp, roughly burying his knot in his partner and shaking along with his slick-covered Omega. His mind went white for a moment, the thrumming in his veins finally appeased but not completely tamed – but enough that he _knew_ he’d just gone in a rut, like he did every time Stark was involved. But every time, he’d been stopped – either by HYDRA or Steve, or even the red-haired woman.

Not this time, though. Not this time.

He closed his eyes for a second with a silent “what have I done”, before he opened them again. His mind clearer, he could now fully appreciate Stark’s features, still relaxed from his climax. He shifted slightly, trying not to hurt the Omega laying under him, and released his grip on the wood. He knew when the haze faded over Stark’s mind, because he felt him tense and immediately trying to scramble away, whimpering in pain when the knot prevented him from doing so.

“Shh, hey, hey”, the Winter Soldier said, hands awkwardly but as gently as possible patting his sides and hair. “It’s alright, I won’t hurt you.”

He could feel Stark’s heart hammering against his chest, the man gulping as he took in his surroundings and the Alpha still deeply settled between his legs.

“You knotted me”, he whispered, voice tight and rough. “You… I…”

The Winter Soldier shifted to sit up, bringing the Omega with him and holding him tight when he felt him start to hyperventilate.

“Deep breaths”, he whispered in his ear. “Follow my rhythm.”

It took a moment, but Stark eventually calmed down enough, though he seemed to be deeply shaken. The Winter Soldier could somewhat understand – what had previously resurfaced of Bucky had retreated back in fear and horror, unable to handle this. By then, he had deflated enough to be able to pull out.

“I’m gonna pull out, now”, the Winter Soldier said as softly as he could, still rubbing Stark’s arms.

Slowly, he slid his hands under the Omega’s thighs and hauled him up, before setting him back down. Slick and spunk had dried over his ass and his inner thighs, and he started to tremble.

“I’m sorry”, the Winter Soldier said. “I lost control. It shouldn’t have happened.”

It was a pale excuse, but he was at a loss for what to do.

“Don’t touch me”, the Omega murmured, his voice broken.

The Winter Soldier held his hands up, sitting back on his heels to give him space. Stark gathered his knees against his chest, and yes, there were tears streaking his face. The Winter Soldier felt something, in his chest, pang with hurt. It was not something he was familiar with.

“Let me help you up and out of here”, he said after a moment. “It’s cold there.”

The wind was howling through the broken window, cold and merciless. Stark was likely to catch a cold if he remained here any longer.

“You”, Stark breathed, “you don’t understand, do you?”  
“I understand I have hurt you, though I didn’t mean to and had no wish to do so. Like I said, I’m sorry.”  
“You’re sorry”, Stark snorted. “I’m sorry, he says”, Stark said, his voice mocking. “Listen here you piece of shit. Chemical contraceptives don’t work on me”, he growled. “If I took a morning after pill, the only thing it could do is _kill_ me.” He shoved at him. “But you don’t care ‘bout that, do you? Do you know what the conception statistics are, for a healthy Omega getting knotted during their heat? DO YOU KNOW?”

The Winter Soldier frowned and licked his lips.

“They’re high.”  
“High! High, he says”, the Omega said, his voice verging on hysteria. “IT’S 97,90 FUCKING PERCENT, YOU DICK”, he cried, shoving at him again.

The Winter Soldier caught his wrists in his hands, staring back, his face emotionless. The Winter Soldier was not programmed for emotions -whether positive of negative. And Bucky was… gone.

“Mr. Stark”, the electronic voice said again, “I have called for reinforcements. Mrs. Romanov is coming.”  
“Get out”, Stark gritted at him.  
“You are still in heat”, the Winter Soldier pointed out. “You will experience another wave soon, and my rut isn’t over yet. I’m not leaving.”

Stark was trembling harder now.

“You threw a guy threw the window and he’s probably downstairs _in pieces_ ”, he growled, “and then you took advantage of my heat and now I’m facing the _very displeasing_ prospect of an abortion. You get out _now_.”

The Winter Soldier shook his head.

“I claimed you, Omega. I’m not leaving you, especially not if you were to bear my cub.”  
“Can’t you reset?” a voice asked, and the Winter Soldier turned around to see Wade clambering through the broken window, his costume seriously ripped. “Your loop thing.”  
“I don’t know how it works exactly”, the Winter Soldier pointed out. “It would be a risky move.”  
“The situation is pretty much shitty already, ya know”, Wade said, twirling a gun in his hands. “I don’t exactly take _kindly_ to Alphas who force themselves on Omegas.”  
“It was not-” the Winter Soldier huffed. “I can’t control it.”  
“Too bad”, Wade said, pulling the trigger.

_Oh for fuck’s sake_ , the Winter Soldier thought. _Not again._

*

The Winter Soldier was _pissed_. About his total loss of control with Stark, the memories now seriously clouding his mind. About Wade shooting him dead, _talk about a friend_. About HYDRA. About the memories still going awry in his head. He could feel that they were coming back, slowly, but whenever one approached enough for him to be close to identify it, it drifted away. His Winter Soldier memories were easier to access.

He was also pissed about Bucky retreating to a deep, dark part of his mind to let him deal with everything, which wasn’t exactly easy. But Bucky was a soft romantic, longing for his own family. Longing for a sweet-smelling Omega to come home to, for a suburban house with a picket fence and a dog. Longing for an Omega to kiss lovingly, and rowdy children to play with, and to tuck in bed at night. Longing for the soft roundness of his Omega full with his cub.

The Winter Soldier didn’t need any of that: he needed a mission, an objective. And he had one, in this loop. He would get to the Smithsonian and read all he could about “Bucky Barnes” and “Steve Rogers” and maybe then things would be clearer.

“I know you’ve got the whole broody, moody thing going on but you could _at least_ answer me, Winter Soldier!” Wade said, running after him as they exited the base.  
“I’m pissed at you, Wade”, the Winter Soldier warned, “so don’t test me!”  
“Why, what will you do? Shoot me?”, Wade snickered.

The Winter Soldier hand flew up and grabbed his throat, lifting him off the ground.

“I will open you like a hare and hang you still alive with your entrails”, he sneered. “You’ll take _hours_ to die.”  
“What a _charming_ perspective”, Wade replied.

The Winter Soldier made a sound of disgust and threw him aside, grabbing his bike and making his way out. Finding the Smithsonian was easy enough, but he opted for an inconspicuous look before going in, taking a large sweater and a baseball cap from a nearby shop and taking off his muzzle. He hid his metal hand in the sweater’s pocket, casually strolling in and following the indications to the exposition on Captain America. He stopped for a moment at a picture of the man in blue, Steve Rogers. Now that he could analyse his features, there really was something familiar to him.

He looked attentively at all the videos, flashes of memories coming back to him, feeling like a red-iron seared into his brain, before he stilled completely at the display he’d arrived at. His own face, slightly younger, was staring back at him from the display. _MIA, the only Howling Commandos member to die in service to his country _– and he nearly collapsed, gasping in pain. He remembered falling, he remembered _this is the Sergeant Barnes_ , he remembered his lacking arm and the metal contraption attached to his body to replace it, he remembered a voice calling his name, and his voice calling back – _STEVE!___

__“Sir, are you alright?” someone asked, and he nodded.  
“Yeah, just a headache, don’t worry.”_ _

__The woman departed and he straightened up, looking around. He was about to leave when he caught the words._ _

__“- is James Buchanan Barnes. Your father.”_ _

__He whipped his head so hard he went blind for a second, his nostrils flaring as he took in the scents amongst all others. The man in blue, Steve Rogers, was standing there, casually dressed. His scent was unique enough that he had no doubt it was him. And in his arms, he was holding _the child_. The Winter Soldier took a breath. _James Buchanan Barnes is your fathe_ r. Red curls was all he could see, but the scent, god, the scent made his heart beat with something he had never felt before._ _

__“Excuse me”, he said, and Rogers turned, his smile fading and eyes widening as he looked at him properly.  
“Bucky Bear!” the child screeched happily, throwing himself at him, and he instinctively caught him._ _

__The blue eyes staring back at him were the exact same shade as his, but the kid’s grin was… familiar, and yet foreign. He brought his trembling flesh fingers to the child’s face, carefully drawing his features in complete awe. Something stirred inside of him – pulling from his core, and then from his mind. Something that scrambled madly to escape the grasp, howling in fear and in pain, something that said _please, don’t, don’t, I’m not ready to come back_ and it _snapped_ -_ _

__Bucky shook himself, clearing his mind. Everything assaulted him at once – the noise, the smells, and it was too much, way too much after so long sleeping under a metal lead. After so long leaving the Winter Soldier in charge, he was back. For the first time since… since… _HANG ON! GRAB MY HAND!_ He made a pained noise, holding on tighter to the child in his arms, his eyes welling up._ _

__“Steve?” he said, his voice broken.  
“Bucky”, Steve breathed, and a second later he was squashed in his arms, the child wiggling to escape the pressure._ _

__Bucky held on tight onto the fabric of his clothes, nose pressed against his neck and breathing in deeply, taking in his scent, and it was the same comforting scent he remembered, except it had something sweeter to it – the scent of a mother, he knew instinctively. He pulled away, just enough to look into Steve’s eyes and see the shocked happiness there._ _

___“It’s really you”, Steve whispered, as if afraid Bucky would fade away if he spoke any louder.  
“It’s really me”, Bucky replied with an incredulous laugh, and well, he was crying now but he couldn’t care – he was holding his whole world in his arms, and it was enough. It was enough.  
“Mama”, a childish voice chirped in, and Bucky looked at the child he was still holding close, between them, “people are staring. That’s rude, right?”_

__Steve chuckled and pressed a kiss to his child brow._ _

__“You’re right, baby, it’s rude.” He looked at Bucky, pulled away slightly but slid his fingers to his hand, threading their fingers together. “Let’s get moving… At our place. Out of the public eye.”_ _

__Bucky held onto him tightly, the child still tucked against his side. He could feel, in Steve’s grip, the same fear there was in his. That “please don’t let go”. That “I’ve finally grabbed your hand.” That anchor, finally. The harbour away from the storm._ _

__They remained silent as they walked, Steve guiding them back to a small apartment complex. Not for lack of things to say, but because they didn’t know where to start. Agent 13 was coming out from her door when they went through, analysing Bucky, his hold on the child in his arms, and his hand intertwined with Steve’s. Steve nodded at her, but didn’t stop, and they walked into the apartment._ _

__Steve paused, breathing deeply. Bucky wondered if he was as shaken up as he was. Slowly, he turned on his heels._ _

__“I’ll make us some tea”, he said, his voice carefully controlled so it would not crack. “The couch is this way”, he added, pointing to a place farther._ _

__Bucky nodded, he wasn’t exactly sure how he’d managed to walk all the way back. His legs were trembling, knees buckling, but he got there and sat down without face-planting. The child was snuggled against him, his milky scent soft and wondrous, and he was afraid to guess who he was._ _

__“Your Mama didn’t tell me your name, little one”, he said, and the child perked up, grinning, red locks flattened on the side of his head.  
“James Anthony Rogers”, he replied. “Jamie’s name is like Jamie’s papa.” He peered at him. “You are Jamie’s papa, aren’t you?”_ _

__A laugh bubbled out of Bucky’s lip, his fingers still mapping out Jamie’s features._ _

__“I believe so, yes”, he said. “Yes”, he added more firmly, feeling like his heart was going to leap out of his chest._ _

__There was the sound of something crashing and breaking in the kitchen, and Bucky tensed._ _

___“Do you need help?” he asked loudly.  
“No, no, it’s alright, just a broken cup. My hands… My hands won’t stop trembling”, Steve answered, and Bucky breathed in deeply, trying to settle his nerves.  
“Don’t move”, he said to Jamie, settling him on the couch, “I’ll be back.”_

__Steve was leaning on the worktop, breathing deeply, his whole body trembling as he sobbed silently. Silently, Bucky stepped closer and did the only thing he could: he pulled him into his arms, rubbing gently at his back. He couldn’t remember holding Steve as he cried after the serum. It was strange, in a way._ _

___“I’m sorry”, Steve wrenched the words out of his throat, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry”, he repeated, crying harder, and Bucky held on tight._  
“It’s alright, love”, he whispered back.  
“I missed you so much”, Steve said pulling away slightly, his face a mess, “so much, Bucky.”  
“I’m here, now. I’m here, and I’m not leaving.” 

__It took a moment, but eventually, Steve pulled himself back together and Bucky let go, helping him clear away the broken cup and making hot chocolate for Jamie._ _

__“I- Jamie”, Bucky started. “How?”_ _

__Steve took a breath._ _

___“What do you remember?”_  
“Everything up to my… drop in the Alps”, Bucky replied. “The rest are…” He shuddered. “They’re the Winter Soldier’s memories. I don’t have them, not… not yet, anyway.”  
“The Winter Soldier?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow.  
“Yeah, he’s…” He bit his lip. “I don’t know much, only that he was… made. Controlled. I was just… Not there. But he’s broken whatever was holding him down, and now he’s there to.” He inhaled shakily. “To protect me from what I can’t handle. He let me come back, slowly, but it’s the first time I’ve been in control.”  
“Uh”, Steve replied, and apparently there was very little that could disturb him, still to this day. “Well”, he added, rubbing the back of his head, “you remember helping me on my heat? After… After we broke up.” 

__Bucky nodded, understanding downing on him._ _

___“You got pregnant”, he breathed. “You actually got pregnant. Oh, Steve, I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me most.”_  
“I was scared out of my wits”, Steve went on. “When I found out. Peggy was there, and she insisted I had to tell you. I wanted to, but I didn’t want… I was scared you’d think it was a plan to get you back to me.”  
“Steve”, Bucky said softly, taking his hand in his – the flesh one. “You know I would never think that of you. I would have taken care of you, both of you.”  
“I’d planned to tell you”, Steve replied, sounding anguished. “The day you fell… I had planned to tell you once we’d returned from the mission.”  
“Only I didn’t”, Bucky replied, “and you found yourself alone with a child on the way, in the middle of a war.” He closed his eyes. “Oh, God.” He moaned a second “oh, God”, his eyes flashing open. “That plane… You crashed that plane while you were expecting, is that it? That’s how Jamie can be here, with you.” 

__Steve nodded, eyes downcast._ _

___“He was born on January 1st, 2010”, he explained. “James Anthony Rogers.”_  
“You named him after me”, Bucky said with a smile.  
“After you, and after Howard’s son, Tony. He’s been… a great friend, ever since I was pulled out of the ice.”  
“Stark?” Bucky said, frowning. “It feels… familiar.” He shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. I’m glad you had someone to help you out.” Gently, he cupped Steve’s cheek. “You raised a wonderful boy, Steve.”  
“He takes after you”, Steve smiled. “I see so much of you in him, it leaves me breathless.”  
“It’s the hair, isn’t it”, Bucky chuckled, and Steve elbowed him playfully. “He has your smile, though.”  
“Come meet him”, Steve said, taking his hand and tugging him along. 

__Jamie was still sitting on the couch, but he had a lapful of lilies and roses, and Steve sighed._ _

___“Oh”, Bucky said with a smirk. “That, he took from me as well. You were never the kind to have flowers in the house, what changed?”  
“About that”, Steve said, rubbing his forearm. “Uh…”  
“Jamie can do magic!” Jamie replied enthusiastically, throwing the flowers to Bucky. “Jamie makes flowers, lots of beautiful flowers.”_

__Bucky turned slowly to Steve, expressionless._ _

___“We don’t know exactly what did it”, Steve said. “If it’s because we’re both super-soldiers, or if it’s because I was exposed to a… an alien artefact while I was pregnant, or a mix of the two. But Jamie has a lot of strength, so much that we had to seal it for now. The magic is… a valve, because we couldn’t seal everything.”  
“How strong are we talking?” Bucky asked carefully.  
“He’s just a kid for now, but I expect he’ll be stronger than me once he’ll be grown-up. I have no way of knowing exactly.”_

__There was a moment of silence, and Bucky’s lips stretched into a grin, until he barked out a laugh._ _

__“Only you, love. Only you would have a super-powerful baby.”_ _

__And he crouched, pulling Jamie to him and basking in the soft warmth of his child._ _

__“God”, he breathed, and Steve only heard because he had a better hearing than most, “I’ve just met you and I already love you so much, Jamie.” He then turned to Steve: “Tell me more. About his birth, tell me all there is to know about him.”_ _

__Steve nodded, went to fetch the tea and sat down next to him as Bucky cuddled his son. And Steve started to tell._ _

__It was dark outside when Steve stopped talking, and Jamie was sleeping deeply already._ _

__“I’ll make us something to eat”, Bucky said, bunching up the papers from the take-out Steve had ordered when Jamie had started to cry that he was hungry. “While you put him to bed.”_ _

__The moment of reprieve let them both process what was happening, Bucky fumbling through the kitchen to see what they had, eventually settling on making a huge omelette, while Steve put Jamie in his PJ’s and in bed. He also took the time to write a text to Tony, needing the reassurance that he wasn’t dreaming. When he came back to the living-room, Bucky had set the table and put a vinyl on – the discarded CDs were proof of his attempt to understand modern technology, but he didn’t even have the Winter Soldier’s memories to help him with that._ _

___“It smells delicious”, Steve declared, sitting down at the table, and it was all too easy to fall back into their routine – to shiver with the familiarity of it all.  
“ _Omelette du chef_ ”, Bucky grinned, serving Steve and them himself.  
“It’s perfect”, Steve hummed after taking a bite._

__Dinner wasn’t long to disappear, the red wine nothing more than a soft taste on their tongues, and the ice cream was barely finished when Bucky stood up, flipped the vinyl and held out his hand to Steve as a song he knew all too well started. He let Bucky draw him in, resting his head on his shoulder as the music played and they started to sway. How many times had he listened to this song and imagined this._ _

__[ _Never thought that you would be standing here so close to me there's so much I feel that I should say but words can wait until some other day_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cG1L9wxYbs0) _ _

__It was strange how the lyrics fit his state of mind, how the simple feeling of Bucky’s arms around him made words useless.  
Bucky couldn’t believe his luck – to be back, after so long, and everything was so _perfect_ and he never wanted this to end. He was happy, as long as he had Steve in his arms, safe and secure._ _

____Kiss me once, then kiss me twice  
Then kiss me once again  
It's been a long, long time_ _

__The song played and Bucky wished it would never come to an end, afraid his happiness would turn to ash between his fingers. But the song ended, and Steve was looking at him, his eyes as bright as ever, and it was all too easy to lean forward and press their lips together. He shivered at the contact, feeling his last apprehensions melting away as desire started to burn again._ _

__“I love you”, he breathed against Steve’s lips, “I love you so, so much, Steve.”  
“I love you too”, Steve replied, kissing him again. “Kiss me, Buck. Kiss me so I know you’re here.”_ _

__It was all too easy to let his hands cup the back of Steve’s head and the curve of his back, all too easy to tilt his head at that perfect angle and to drown in his spicy-sweet scent. It was all too easy for the chaste, tender kiss to turn into passionate reunion, for his hands to wander over Steve’s body, recalling each curve and each plane and each angle. It was all too easy for his lips to trail up his jaw, to nip at his ear, for his tongue to lave over his scent gland and scent him._ _

__It was all too easy, when Steve’s body recognized and remembered his loving touch, when it shivered and responded, bending and rolling under his hands. When his blonde hair still slid so perfectly between his fingers, and his bitten lips still parted on a gasp when Bucky rolled his hips into him. It was all too easy to want him, and to let desire take over something, someone he’d loved his whole life, and without whom he could never be complete._ _

__They tumbled onto the couch, Bucky weighing down over Steve, not wanting to part for even just a second. He could smell Steve’s arousal, and feel him, hardening minutely against him. Hear him, moaning shamelessly when he ground his palm onto his crotch, and wanting more, just more. He managed to get out of his sleeveless jacket, and then out of his wrinkled t-shirt, revealing a heavily scarred torso where the prosthetic arm was attached to his body. Steve’s fingers trailed over them, making him shiver, but he asked no question – now was not the time for questions. Instead, Bucky slid his hands, rough with calluses and dry, under his clothes and against the hard planes of his stomach, mapping out the stretch marks on his previously unmarred body._ _

__“You must have been so beautiful”, Bucky whispered, bending to press a kiss to Steve’s cheekbone._ _

__Steve only flushed in response, pulling off his hoodie and his t-shirt while Bucky popped the button of his jeans open, vaguely wondering what the hell was Steve wearing. He lost no time, pulling his underwear down with the jeans, licking his lips at the sight of his hard, slick-leaking cock laying heavy over a blond dusted thigh. He threw Steve’s clothes aside, pressing kiss after kiss down his torso, his stomach, until he could take him in his mouth – the same as he did decades ago, even though it didn’t seem to be that long ago now that he was reacquainted with the sweet taste and enchanting scent. His flesh fingers slid down, between Steve’s already wet legs, and pressed into him easily. Steve always seemed to open whenever he requested entrance, and that apparently hadn’t changed._ _

___“Bucky”, Steve gasped, fingers pulling at his hair, and Bucky pulled off to smirk at him._  
“Already, love? You’re so wet for me, it’s driving me insane.”  
“Take me, please”, Steve whispered, his pupils blown wide with desire.  
“Just a little more, love”, Bucky answered, kissing his thigh and slowly thrusting his fingers, crooking them just to see Steve’s back bow and arch with pleasure. 

__It reminded him of countless times he’d been there, between those thighs – it reminded him of the last time, driven by the heavy desire of a heat and always wanting more, and of the first time, of a worried Steve who was promising nothing more than forever to him. Steve gasped, pulling his hair harder, and Bucky relented. He sat up, pulling Steve with him, and propped the Omega’s legs over his shoulders, his metal fingers digging into the flesh of his thigh as he held him up. Steve had automatically wrapped his arms around his neck, smirking when he took hold of him to get him where he needed him. Steve sank slowly, breath itching as inch after inch pulled him apart and threatened his undoing. He didn’t stop, though, not until he knew Bucky was in to the hilt._ _

__“God, after all these years, you still take it like a champ”, Bucky whispered against his lips, and Steve shivered at the praise. “That’s it, love, nice and slow… Fuck”, he gasped, “if you squeeze me like that, love, I’ll pop a knot very soon.”_ _

__He thanked whatever had given Steve this incredible flexibility, though he was sure it would drive him insane. His lips trailed over his jaw, to his ear, nipping at his scent gland before going back to his mouth and steal his breath away as he widened his thrusts. He must have hit something good because Steve nearly cried out, only biting it back before it got too loud, and _fuck_ \- he wanted more of that noise._ _

__“Bucky”, he cried, he _sobbed_ , “Bucky I’m so close, _please!”__ _

__Bucky shivered, feeling himself loose control, and growled a low:_ _

__“Come for me, love, be a good Omega” that set Steve off, slick splattering over their stomachs and up to Steve’s chest._ _

__Bucky groaned and snapped his hips fiercely, chasing his orgasm and pushing his knot deep, feeling it catch as he released. Gasping for breath and still trembling from the over-whelming pleasure, he lowered Steve’s legs and rubbed his thighs as he lowered them back on the couch. Steve looked slightly dazed, the way Omegas always were when they were knotted, and Bucky had always been amazed by the amount of trust it asked of them._ _

__“That was amazing, love”, he whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek._ _

__By the time his knot had deflated enough for him to pull out, Steve was sleeping peacefully. He got a washcloth to wipe the slick from their skin, and his own spunk drying over his lover’s thighs, before he finally attempted to lift Steve up. The guy was _heavy_ , and he was glad the bedroom was so close because he wouldn’t have been able to hold him up for long. He slid both of them under the covers, and was about to turn off the light when he noticed something he hadn’t noticed before: teeth marks – no, scars, white and bright over Steve’s nape. His metallic knuckles creaked with how he was clenching his fist. Some bastard Alpha had taken advantage of Steve and actually bitten him hard enough to make it _scar_. The barbaric tradition of mating bites had been abandoned centuries ago, and yet, one of the two people he loved most in this world had been subjected to it._ _

__He took a deep breath, calming down. There was no use worrying about that now, it was in the past. There was nothing he could do. Instead, he pulled Steve against him and buried his nose in his nape, taking in his scent and letting it convince him he was home._ _

__He woke up alone in a cold bed, Steve nowhere in sight. Yawning, he stretched and got up, grabbing a pair of discarded sweatpants on his way out. He expected many things, but certainly not a red-eyed Steve crying on the couch. Not after their reunion. He looked wrecked, though, and that was not a happy crying, or a relieved crying – no, it was something else, something pained and raw._ _

___“Steve?” he asked tentatively, and Steve startled._  
“Bucky”, Steve replied, quickly wiping his eyes.  
“What’s the matter, love?” he asked, sitting beside him, hesitating to draw him in a hug. Steve seemed to be strangely closed-off.  
“I’m a terrible person”, Steve sniffed.  
“You?” Bucky snorted. “If there’s one thing you ain’t, it’s terrible.”  
“No, Buck, please”, Steve whispered. “I’m disgusted with myself and nothing you can say will change that.” 

__Bucky felt his heart drop. Disgusted? Had he, perhaps, found out about the Winter Soldier?_ _

__“Steve…”  
“Listen”, Steve said, and there were still tears shining in his eyes, “I grieved for you. I lived close to four years thinking you _dead_ , knowing we’d broken up, and you’re not, and I-” he breathed in deeply. “I’ve met someone else”, he finally said. “Someone who’s good for me and for Jamie. Last night was a mistake. I got caught up in the moment, and in my emotions, but it was fair neither to you nor to him.”_ _

__Someone else. Of course. He should have known, really – he had been thought dead, and as Steve had pointed out, they hadn’t been together anymore, anyway. But he couldn’t deny it wasn’t a blow. In fact, he was surprised by how much it pained him._ _

__“I’m sorry”, Steve breathed.  
“Sorry?” the Winter Soldier growled. “You _hurt_ him, dickhead!” he cried out, backhanding Steve across the face. “He trusted you, Soldier! He trusted you enough to come out!”_ _

__Steve shouted in pain and surprise when the blow sent him sprawling across the couch._ _

___“Buck? Bucky what the hell?!”  
“ _I_ am not Bucky”, the Winter Soldier growled menacingly. “God knows I tried, but I’m not as soft-hearted as he is.” He gripped Steve’s neck choking him, though Steve scrambled to push him away, too shocked to really manage to. “I thought maybe you could help him, help _us_.”  
“What the- Buck, I can’t breathe, I-”  
“Bucky is _not__ there”, the Winter Soldier sneered. “Not anymore. And I won’t let you hurt him again!” 

__He squeezed harder, until eventually Steve went limp with a sickening crack. The Winter Soldier straightened up, trying to tame the ache in his heart, wondering why, how Bucky’s pain had become his own. A door creaked open and small feet padded into the room._ _

__“Mama? What happened?”_ _

__Jamie appeared, wearing a pyjama top and his nappies, having apparently climbed out of bed, his knitted snail tight in his hand. He froze when he saw Steve sprawled over the couch, his head at an unnatural angle, the Winter Soldier looming over him._ _

__“There comes the midget”, the Winter Soldier sneered, annoyed, though the mere idea of hurting Jamie made him nauseated._ _

__Jamie squeezed his snail harder, clearly frightened._ _

__“Papa? Is Mama alright?”_ _

__The Winter Soldier frowned and grabbed Jamie, going for the door. He was about to go out when someone knocked. He wrenched the door open, stilling when he found himself facing Deadpool._ _

__“Man, what you did was _so_ uncool”, Wade said. “But I got worried and managed to find out you went here… Who’s that child?”  
“No one”, the Winter Soldier replied._ _

__Jamie shook the Winter Soldier._ _

__“Papa, why is Mama not moving?” he asked again.  
“…Is there a problem?” Deadpool said, an edge to his voice._ _

__Jamie was crying, now._ _

___“Mama”, he wailed, and suddenly Agent 13 was there, weapon in hand.  
“Move aside”, Deadpool urged, pushing past the Winter Soldier and stopping dead in his tracks when he noticed the body.  
“Captain America”, he breathed. “What the _fuck_ , you _killed__ Captain America?!”  
“MAMA!” Jamie wailed, the seal on his powers breaking and blasting the Winter Soldier through the corridor, the boy himself falling to the ground. “MAMA!” 

__Deadpool rushed to the little boy, picking him up and trying his best to soothe him as Agent 13 rushed past them and stopped, gasping in shock, before she fell to her knees._ _

__“Oh my god”, she breathed, “oh no… Steve…”_ _

__Wade looked back at the Winter Soldier, who was picking himself up._ _

__“Uh, that’s no good.” He peaked at the Agent who was already calling for reinforcement, and pointed at Jamie who had turned red from his wailing. “I’m taking the baby to Avengers Tower.”  
“You’re not taking him _anywhere_ , Wade”, the Winter Soldier growled, strutting murderously towards him as he pulled out a gun._ _

__Wade was about to retort something very witty when thunder echoed, lightning illuminating everything, and suddenly the window to Steve’s apartment broke in a million pieces as a raging god of thunder went through._ _

__“No”, Thor growled. “Steve, darling, do you hear me?”  
“I’m sorry”, Agent 13 said, tears rolling down her face, “it’s over.”_ _

__Thor rose his eyes to the Winter Soldier and pointed Mjolnir towards him._ _

__“You will pay”, he growled. “Take Jamie to Tony Stark”, he added for Wade, “this is nothing a child should see.”_ _

__Jamie was wailing louder and louder, and the light flickered, before going out completely. Wade was completely terrified – he’d seen a lot of freakish things, but this? This was a bit _too much_. The Winter Soldier didn’t try to stop him when he broke out into a run, eyes fixated on the new threat that was Thor. Then, growling, he launched himself at the god, the Alpha who had dared to steal Steve from h- from _Bucky_ , shielding his face with his metallic arm when Thor brought his hammer down. The resulting shockwave sent them both sprawling, but the Winter Soldier’s arm was now crushed beyond repair. Thor let out a feral growl, impersonating quite perfectly the predator who has finally cornered its prey, before he rose Mjolnir again, and struck down._ _

__*_ _

__The Winter Soldier was in a foul mood. He’d just had the shitiest loop, and while some of his past was becoming clearer and he was regaining his memories, albeit slowly, it didn’t change the fact that he had no idea where to go from here. Bucky was closer to the surface now, and the Winter Soldier was pretty sure the man he was previously would soon realize _he_ , the Winter Soldier, existed too. And from there, he would get his memories, and for the first time ever, the Winter Soldier was… frightened. If Bucky remembered and came back, the Winter Soldier would probably disappear._ _

__At the hands of HYDRA, he had never been very concerned by the idea of his own mortality, but ever since the loop started, he had gained agency. He didn’t exist merely as HYDRA’s hand, now. He was his own person, with a clearly defined mission: protect Bucky Barnes.  
In the privacy of his own mind, the Winter Soldier had stopped referring to himself as Bucky. He wasn’t Bucky – the name didn’t fit him anymore, had never really fitted his bloodstained hands. Instead, he’d reclaimed another name, one Bucky had… mostly abandoned, it seemed._ _

___“James!” Wade called, running after him. “So what’s the plan, now?”  
“Depends”, James answered gruffly. “How do you feel about child abduction?”  
“Kidnapping?” Wade frowned.  
“I’m taking back _my__ child from its whore of a mother”, the Winter Soldier sneered. 

__Wade considered for a moment._ _

___“You don’t exactly strike me as a paternal figure.”  
“I can strike you another way if you’d like”, James proposed snidely.  
“See? That’s exactly what I meant.”  
“I won’t hurt my own flesh and blood”, James gritted. “I’m merely taking back what’s _mine__. Are you in?” 

__Wade considered for a moment, then nodded. James had a feeling there was something behind that acceptance – knowing Wade, he would probably stick around until he was certain James could care for a child. And he would not hesitate to shoot him and take the child back if he wasn’t satisfied. Anyway, James _had_ to know more about Jamie, without the hoovering figure of Steve Rogers behind it all._ _

__

__In the end, kidnapping Jamie wasn’t hard at all. In the Smithsonian, the child had escaped his mother’s surveillance and wandered just far enough for James to grab him and get away as quickly as possible without attracting attention. Jamie had grinned, calling him “Bucky Bear!”, and let himself be taken away from Steve. He went immediately to the car Wade had “borrowed” – an old Ford, completely inconspicuous – and sat shotgun with Jamie in his lap._ _

__“Your seatbelt”, Wade said, and James barely refrained from punching him._ _

__He fastened the seatbelt over both himself and Jamie and Wade peeled away from the museum, going for the interstate. Jamie seemed to be greatly amused by their hit and run, apparently confident that his father would care for him. James doubted Steve would let the world know that he had a child, and that said child had been kidnapped. No, he’d rely on his friends to find his way back to Jamie. That give them some time._ _

__“So what’s his name”, Wade asked after a moment when he realized James would gaze at his son silently through the whole ride if he didn’t do something.  
“Jamie!” the red-head answered with a toothy grin. “James Anthony Rogers!”_ _

__Wade snorted._ _

___“He was named after you?” he said to James, though he did extend a hand to Jamie, ruffling his locks.  
“Yeah”, James replied. “It would seem so.”  
“Well he has your eyes, that’s for sure.”_

__Silence stretched on and Wade fiddled with the radio until he found a song he liked, Jamie balancing excitedly in his father’s lap and clapping his hands._ _

__“You know some songs, Jamie?” Wade asked once he realized the kid would _at least_ answer, unlike his father._ _

__Jamie nodded, almost head-bumping James in the process._ _

__“Mama sings to Jamie”, he explained. “Uncle Tony too. And Peter.”  
“Would you sing one for me?”_ _

__Jamie nodded eagerly and Wade turned down the music as Jamie assumed an expression of intense focus. Then, suddenly, he opened his arms wide and snow started to fall in the car._ _

___“Let it go, let it go_  
Can't hold it back anymore  
Let it go, let it go  
Turn away and slam the door!” 

__Wade barely refrained from braking in surprise, but James didn’t seem to be troubled by his child’s sudden display of supernatural abilities so it was probably to be expected? He hesitated for barely a second before he started to sing with him, to the Winter Soldier annoyance._ _

__“That was great, Jamie!” he said, holding his hand out for a high five._ _

__Jamie high-fived him and rose his eyes to James._ _

__“Bucky Bear”, he said, “Jamie pooped his nappy.”_ _

__There was a moment of silence before Deadpool burst out laughing._ _

__“Man, I love your kid.”_ _

__James pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing heavily._ _

__“Alright, get out to the next exit. We’ll be stopping in a motel for the night.”_ _

__James sent Wade on an errand for kid’s things while he took them a bedroom in a motel, cringing at the awful smell coming from his child. So, maybe he should have thought this through before he acted rashly. At least Jamie didn’t seem to be upset by the situation, though he did berate James for leaving him so long with a dirty nappy. The motel was cheap but it was ideal to stay in hiding, and there was a cot for Jamie, which was something._ _

__Jamie was, luckily, a ray of sunshine and started to babble about his family and the things he did while James did his best to shower him – it was not like he had experience in caring for a child that age, but he managed alright. He was just finished drying him and was hanging the towel when the door opened and Wade strolled in with nappies and a stack of pizzas. There was also a green… plush, James guessed, and pyjamas that would likely be too big on Jamie._ _

___“Wade!” Jamie cried out, escaping James’ care to run buck-naked to Deadpool._  
“Hello midget!” he heard Wade answer. “You do smell better now, did Bucky Bear shower you?”  
“Yes!” Jamie replied, and soon after Deadpool peeked in and took a towel from the bathroom as James was struggling with his drenched t-shirt – his shower had been unintentional.  
“The mini-you is running around in his birth suit”, Deadpool pointed out. “I’m taking care of it, don’t worry.” 

__James finally managed to disentangle himself from his t-shirt and walked out, only to find Deadpool finishing to tie Jamie’s nappy, the pyjama laid out on the bed and a bottle of baby powder on the ground beside him. Jamie easily hopped into the pants, still babbling at Wade and James was kind of jealous, but Wade apparently knew how to care for a child while he had no fucking idea what he was doing._ _

__“- and so Mama said to duck and roll like _Tetka_ Natasha!”  
“Wow, that’s awesome!” Wade replied with as much excitement as Jamie put in his tales._ _

__Jamie nodded and, instead of putting his arms up so Wade could help him with his t-shirt, held out his hands to give him a handful of cherry blossoms. Deadpool received them solemnly, thanking the boy for his beautiful gift before he put them on the bed and finished getting Jamie dressed. Finally, he looked up, staring unabashedly at James’ naked torso._ _

__“You seem to be handling it well”, James declared before he disappeared in the bathroom again, taking a quick shower and cursing his lack of preparation: he had no change of clothes._ _

__Luckily, his t-shirt had dried in the meantime, so he put it back on. A t-shirt and his boxers would do. Wade had switched on the TV and found a cartoon network, and Jamie seemed to be completely engrossed. They ate the pizzas, leaving nothing but the boxes, and Jamie started to yawn. It was only 8pm but Bucky figured it was a good bed-time for a kid his age._ _

___“Where is Mama?” Jamie asked, blinkingly sleepily as James pulled back the covers on the cot to put him to bed.  
“Not here, _trésor_. It’s just you, Wade and me.”  
“Jamie wants Mama’s goodnight story”, Jamie protested, “and Mama’s kiss!”  
“Not tonight. I can tell you a story if you want?”  
“Jamie doesn’t want to sleep alone”, Jamie said, crossing his arms, and James dragged a tired hand over his face.  
“ _Alright__.” 

__He settled in bed with Jamie in his arms, and before he knew it, the boy was sleeping against him. He felt incredibly small and fragile compared to him, but his warmth was comforting and his sweet scent familiar. Wade cooed before he flopped beside him, throwing an arm over his waist and nuzzling against his side. James stared down at him and Wade stilled, obviously waiting to be thrown out of bed by an irate Winter Soldier. James sighed, adjusted his grip on Jamie with his metal hand and wrapped his flesh arm around Wade’s shoulders._ _

__They watched an inane movie that had Wade cackling madly and shoving James every once in a while, when he laughed just too hard, earning himself a sharp pinch. Ultimately though, James laid down, Jamie tucked against him as Wade spooned him._ _

___“That’d better not be your dick”, James growled.  
“Nope, just my gun”, Wade replied and James could _hear__ his grin.  
“Like hell that’s a gun”, he said. “Do you think I’m that dumb?”  
“No, but you’re hot.”  
“I’ll take the compliment and warn you to keep your junk away from me. You wouldn’t want to lose it.” 

__Wade only burrowed his head between his shoulders with a sigh, and James wasn’t long to fall asleep. He dreamed of Steve – Steve breaking him out of HYDRA’s base during the war. Only Steve was huge with their child and the shield seemed ridiculously small over his frame. Only Steve fell in the burning inferno Red Skull had lit, screaming, and James was _powerless_ and-_ _

__He woke up gasping, drenched in cold sweat. Wade was sprawled over him, using his chest as a pillow, and Jamie beside him, laying in star-fish position on the bed. His boy was peaceful as he slept, and James found himself smiling at the sight. He had never loved anyone. Love was not on the Winter Soldier job description, after all, and the huge something he could feel stirring in his chest, slowly spreading to his whole body, was as foreign as it was terrifying. Yet he knew it was “love” – he would do anything for his child. His safety and happiness mattered more than anything else._ _

__He sprung to his feet when the door was sent flying through the room, violently waking up Wade and Jamie. Instinctively, he grabbed for his son, holding him tight against him. Hate, love, hope, relief and contempt rose inside him at once when Steve walked through the door, all decked in red, white and blue. There was something harsh in the set of his jaw, and in the blue of his eyes. And there was not a sliver of surprise at facing him._ _

___“Give Jamie back”, he growled menacingly, and James could tell he hadn’t come alone.  
“Captain America”, Wade said with awe in his voice. “Wait, James, we kidnapped Captain America’s child? You said it was yours!”  
“I’m afraid _James__ didn’t lie”, Steve replied. “Jamie is our son. Give him back.”  
“Now that’s what I call a fucking plot-twist”, Wade said. “I’m speechless.”  
“Wade, will you shut up for once?” James bit back, annoyed.  
“You banged Captain America and said nothing, I say that’s treason!”  
“Deadpool”, Steve called icily, which was kind of ironical given the man’s history with ice and Wade snickered, “I’m not here to talk about my sex life with you. I’m here to take my child back.”  
“Disappointing. I want to know about your sex life. Did you ever get nasty in your uniform or do I just have a huge uniform kink?” 

__Steve’s face had flushed pure red – whether from embarrassment or anger, James couldn’t say, but it was exceedingly funny._ _

___“Tell him, Steve”, he sneered with a nasty smirk. “Tell him how I bent you over your bike and pounded you so hard you couldn’t stand afterwards.”  
“Will you two fucking stop?!” Steve yelled. “Give Jamie back and _maybe__ I won’t maul you.”  
“FUCK!” Jamie yelled back with a giggle, attracting all three men’s eyes.  
“Language”, James chided him, and wow was that hypocritical. 

__He was not prepared for Wade to suddenly grabbed Jamie from his arms and run out of the motel room, efficiently dodging Steve._ _

__“DIBS!” Wade called, and Jamie was laughing in his arms.  
“WADE COME BACK HE-” James called, running after him, only to choke on the scent because _of course_ Tin-Man, Tony Stark, was hoovering nearby._ _

__He resisted for a whole two minutes – but resisting required all his focus, which meant he couldn’t run away. Letting out a growl, he lunged at Stark who flew back in surprise, sending him sprawling to the ground. His ears ringing from the shock, he looked up, vision blurry. The pain had stopped the over-whelming scent for a few seconds. It was enough for him to notice the man standing in green mist, staring straight back to him._ _

____Come see me once you’re ready_ , the man signed.  
 _Why?_ He managed to sign back with trembling hands.  
 _I know about the loop.__

__He scrambled up, ready to run after the man, but said stranger sent a _fireball_ , out of all things, to him. It caught him the chest and he barely had enough time to think _that HURTS_ before he collapsed, lifeless._ _

__*_ _

__James didn’t try to find the man who had killed him. He wasn’t suicidal, thank you very much, and there were things he wanted to do – namely, spend time with Jamie. With each loop, he managed to escape Steve longer, and he learnt how to care for his child. He learnt that Jamie loved green but absolutely hated corn – “Jamie is not a chicken, Papa” he would say, fully offended – and that Peter, whoever that was, was his best friend(/brother? It was difficult to understand). He learnt that his son knew ASL and quite a number of songs that he would sing as loudly as he could whenever the mood took him. He learnt that Jamie’s knitted snail was _very_ important._ _

__Eventually, after several hundreds of loops of kidnapping his child and fleeing across the states with him and Deadpool, who was quickly becoming his best friend, he realized Bucky was taking control more and more. And Bucky wanted answers from Steve._ _

__

__Avengers Tower was just as impressive as the first time James had gone, Bucky realized as he stood before it. Steve was there: he’d come back from DC the day before. There was also Stark, and just because of him Bucky would need to wear his muzzle._ _

__“Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, to see Captain Steve Rogers”, he told to the crackling voice that asked why he was there._ _

__He waited several minutes before the doors slid open for him, just as Steve stepped out of the elevator, apparently agitated by the news of his being there. His heart missed a beat. Steve was the same as he remembered and it _hurt_. Steve froze when he noticed him, before he broke out into a run and slammed into him, wrapping his arms around him._ _

___“Am I dreaming?” he asked in a trembling voice.  
“I’m here”, Bucky replied coolly.  
“How? How can you be, how is it possible?”  
“Steve, stop it. I’m trying very hard no to punch your perfect teeth in”, Bucky growled, and Steve took a step back, startled.  
“What happened, Bucky? What’s the problem?”  
“I’d hiding that you were pregnant with _my__ kid is pretty huge. Heard you got yourself another Alpha, Stevie.” 

__Steve took another step back, hurt and betrayal etched on his face._ _

__“What the fuck are you on about?” he said. “You dumped me, and then you were _dead!_ What was I supposed to do, mourn you eternally?”  
“Yes- No! I DON’T KNOW”, Bucky yelled. “Maybe telling me you were pregnant would have been a great start!” He waved his arms in anger and shoved his finger in Steve’s face. “We weren’t fucking perfect, Steve, but dammit we could have tried! We could have gotten a crib in our shoddy little apartment in Brooklyn and taken our son for walks in the park, and then get him to school!”_ _

__Steve looked at him like he’d just bitten into a lemon._ _

__“You _died_ , Bucky. You _died_. It would have been me, the American mascot now out of commission, with a child they would have probably taken from me. And even if I had managed to keep our son, you were _dead_. You wouldn’t have been in the picture, Bucky. I have no idea how you’re even alive, if you’re an hallucination or a nightmare, but there’s no reality where you and I got to raise Jamie together.”_ _

__Bucky stumbled back, because no matter how much he wanted to deny, he knew Steve was right. Even if he hadn’t managed to get to the twenty-first century, Steve would have been mated with Peggy already – they would have been well before Jamie was born, just so the child wouldn’t be a bastard in a world that wasn’t kind to children born out of a mating-bond. It wasn’t the nineteen-forties, and it wasn’t Peggy. It was 2013 and Steve had found himself an Alpha, one that fitted him better than Bucky could since… since. It broke his heart to think about the child they’d lost after desiring them so much._ _

__The dam broke and the tears poured in great, heavy, ugly sobs that somehow mellowed Steve enough that he stepped forward and pulled Bucky against him. James knew that he had to accept he couldn’t get back what he’d lost, but it was hard, when he’d lost everything. It was hard, when Steve still felt so comforting against him._ _

__“I’m sorry”, he sobbed, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”_ _

__And Steve said nothing but held him tight. Once more his lifeline in a world that had lost it sense._ _

__*_ _

__“Yes, Alpha, Alpha! Pound me harder!”  
“You like it, mmh?” James rasped against the Omega’s ear, feeling his lithe body quiver under his harsh thrusts, almost sending him into the mattress with each one of them._ _

__Even with his muzzle on, the frenzy of the Omega’s heat got to him. The brown locks were stuck in clumps between his fingers, sweat covering his body, his skin so warm James half-expected him to combust instantly. He was so gorgeous James could feel his mouth water even without his mind-addling scent, his body keeping a drenched, vice-grip on his cock._ _

__Stark was, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful Omegas he’d gotten to fuck. And an eager one at that, who went into heat if Bucky so much as stepped in the same room as him. It was… well, flattering, to say the least._ _

__“Are you close, doll?”_ _

__Stark nodded wantonly, moaning instead of talking, and James grinned, pulling out roughly and dropping down, wrenching his muzzle away so he could lap at the slick pouring from his wrecked Omega. He cried out, arms giving out, and James bit his cheek in retaliation._ _

__“Be good”, he shushed, driving two fingers into him mercilessly, shaking himself as his rut took hold. “I will fuck you so good you’ll be ruined for all other Alphas, doll”, he promised, growling low as his rut fully settled in._ _

__Everything other than the Omega faded away to a world of pleasure and pain._ _

__*_ _

__Bucky waited for the fallout. It always happened, sooner or later, but it always happened. He didn’t like that he was getting used to catch Tony when he fell. He didn’t like that, after loops and loops of helping him through the heat _his_ presence induced, he was starting to understand the man more and more._ _

__More importantly, he didn’t like that he was finally getting over his feelings for Steve, after so many years of living together. But when he started to think about it, years had passed already, since he first woke up as the Winter Soldier. He’d gotten his memories back, bit by bit, piecing back his life at the hands of HYDRA and James’s actions. Maybe three years had passed since James last took control without his consent, and from that fact alone, Bucky understood he was getting better. He couldn’t handle the bloody handiwork getting out was, but James could, and so he did. James could handle the heartbreak that was getting over Steve, and found pleasure in Tony’s presence. Bucky was… mostly disgusted with James’s behaviour._ _

__He threaded his fingers through Tony’s thick brown locks, lingering on his nape and gliding down his sweat-glistening back, taking in his scent as his heat ended. He itched to take him again, not out of the need of a heat or a rut, but because he wanted to. He was written into his skin already, and the desire to learn more than how wrecked he looked under him took him by surprise._ _

__Tony tensed in his arms, and started to pull away. Bucky let go, knowing the Omega would only hurt himself if he tried to keep him still. In a second, Tony would start to rant about how this should never happen again, how it should have never happened in the first place. In a second, he would be disgusted with his status as an Omega and call himself names that made Bucky’s skin crawl. In a second, everything would fall apart._ _

__Bucky threw an arm over the side of the bed, found his discarded trousers and then his holster, with his gun. He kept one bullet there, when he couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t know what to do to get out of the loop, and-_ _

___The man_ , he suddenly remembered. _The man in green_. The man who told him he knew about the loop, the man who could probably help him._ _

__“What are y-” Tony started._ _

__Bucky wasn’t brave enough to reset, but James was.  
He pulled the trigger._ _

__*_ _

__Bucky was with Deadpool when he found the man. They were standing in front of the 221 A Bleeker Street, a non-descript place in NY. The address had been written on a piece of paper origami-folded as a bird that flew to James the moment he stepped out of SHIELD. How the man had known Bucky would agree to meet him now, he had no idea. But he sure as hell expected an answer. He pounded on the door with his metal fist and it opened a few seconds after on a man who had the most blank expression he had ever seen. Before Bucky or Wade could talk – knowing Wade, it was an exploit – the man had stepped aside to let them in, and they… stared._ _

__The inside was nothing like the outside, with the large stairs climbing up and the house simply too big to fit in its tiny frame. There was a zap, and they found themselves in a room with rows of books and several armchairs, not knowing how they’d moved. Two men were waiting for them._ _

__One stood, regal, clad in a long flowy cape and neatly trimmed facial hair, examining them both with a hard frown. The other was the man in green, except he wore black slacks with shiny dress shoes, a matching black shirt and a black vest with intricate embroideries in gold and green. He was sitting sideways in an armchair, his feet propped up and looking both bored and amused._ _

__“You made it. Only took you six years since I told you to meet me. Have you had fun?”_ _

__Bucky shifted uneasily. It was James who’d met the man, and James was… well, he could be an asshole when he wanted to be. And James had prioritized Jamie, and then getting over Steve, to finding out what the hell was happening to him. Sometimes, Bucky really wondered what went down in James’s head._ _

__“You know about the loop?” Wade asked excitedly, though by now Bucky knew better than to trust his cheer. Deadpool could be vicious with the cheeriest tone, he’d learn that to his own expense. “Your face seems familiar, by the way.”  
“Loki is partially responsible for the time-loop”, the other man said, floating up to them a few inches off the ground, which made Wade gape._ _

__Loki, since it was him, frowned at the man._ _

___“Not my fault”, he bit back, and the man stared at him, nonplussed.  
“I’m Dr. Strange”, the man said, “Sorcerer Supreme. Loki and I stabilized the accidental spell, so nothing you do will have lasting effects on the real world. You alone keep the memories of all these days, and the people present in the Tower at the initial loop will probably remember it once the spell breaks off. In the meantime, nothing is sure, as you probably noticed. Sometimes, they’ll remember, and sometimes they won’t.”  
“So what does he have to do to get out of that loop?” Wade asked eagerly. “I’ve seen tons of time-loops movies, there’s always something you need to do or to fix to break the loop.”_

__Loki nodded._ _

___“That is usually the point of a time-loop, yes. Except this one was accidental from a mostly untrained mage. This loop has no point, but a set amount of time before everything goes back to normal. It was too powerful and chaotic for Strange or myself to intervene safely, so we settled for letting it unfold while keeping everyone safe.”_  
“What happened, exactly?” Bucky asked. “I’ve got James’s memories, but they’re from his time as the Winter Soldier and they tend to be… blurry.”  
“You burst into Avengers Tower”, Loki declared, sitting up. “Your son recognized you and ran up to you, but you didn’t know him and were aggressive. I cast a spell to call him back just as he made contact with you. His magic got unleashed and mixed with mine, creating the time-loop we’re in.”  
“You said it was fixed amount of time, rather than my acts, that will let me get out of it?” Bucky asked, peering at him.  
“Yes”, the god nodded. “Around fifteen years, to be exact. You will feel the last loop before you’re sent back to the real world, so don’t worry about missing it.” 

__Bucky looked crestfallen._ _

__“Fifteen _years?_ Of living the same days again and again and again?”  
“You’ve already lived eight years of endless loops”, Dr. Strange pointed out. “You’re half-way there.”_ _

__Bucky felt like he’d just been sucker-punched._ _

__“Already?”_ _

__Dr. Strange simply nodded, as the world around Bucky started to turn and shift. Eight years. It hadn’t felt that long – well, sometimes if felt like centuries, but that was not the point. With no way of crossing the days to keep track of them, he only had his memories, and a lot of the first ones were blurry enough he didn’t know how close they’d been. Finding a way out of HYDRA had taken quite some time too, as had continuously kidnapping Jamie to get to know him._ _

__He stumbled back and found himself collapsing into a massive armchair. Wade looked at him with an amused air – of course, the fucker couldn’t completely die, he merely went on time out. _Of course_ he would find this funny. If he was being honest, James found it amusing too. Bucky, not so much._ _

___“You seem to have reacquainted yourself with the twenty-first century just fine”, Loki pointed out. “How is 2013 treating you?”  
“I’ve gone to see _World War Z__ to the cinema something like fifteen times already”, Bucky answered, “at this point I’m not watching the movie anymore, I’m watching the people. Wade has the best reactions.”  
“I do?” Wade asked, perking up.  
“You squeal”, Bucky replied. “Once, I pinched you just as you got scared and you busted your knee against the chair. I laughed so hard I thought I was gonna pee myself.”  
“Talk about a friend”, Wade grumbled, crossing his arms.  
“I don’t know whether to feel concerned or exhausted”, Loki said, standing up. “Barnes, you managed to shake off HYDRA’s grasp, which is pretty impressive considering the techniques they used, but there’s still the Winter Soldier trigger in your head.” 

__Bucky couldn’t stop himself from smirking. Oh god did he know about the trigger – he’d been surprised the first few times, as had Wade, admittedly, but not so much after they’d used it so much it didn’t do jack shit._ _

__“Go on”, he said. “Try and pull the trigger.”_ _

__Loki frowned, shrugged and waved his hand. A very familiar red-bound notebook appeared out of thin air and Loki opened it, leafing through it until he found the activation command for the Winter Soldier._ _

__“ _Longing, rusted, furnace, daybreak, seventeen, benign, nine, homecoming, one, freight car_ ”, Loki recited in perfect Russian, and Bucky shivered from head to toes._ _

__James smirked._ _

__“You know”, he quipped. “Those words may seem to be random, but they absolutely aren’t. HYDRA worked hard to find the right combination, one that was tied to who I am.”  
He stood up and spread his arms around, showing off. “Yes, the words still act as a trigger. The problem is… there is no longer a Winter Soldier. There is me, James. If you pull the trigger, you only get me. I don’t have Bucky’s moral compass, nor his softness, and I’m damn efficient when it comes to missions. But I’m done being HYDRA’s fist or a mindless puppet.” He crowded Loki against a bookshelf, though the god didn’t seem the least bit intimidated. “Go ahead”, he breathed, “try to give me an order.”_ _

__Loki lifted an eyebrow and flicked a strand of James’s hair from his shoulder._ _

___“Good for you, _James__. Then, I guess we’re done here.”  
“I believe so too”, James agreed, never looking away from him.  
“Then out, out, all of you!” Dr. Strange bristled, apparently upset that there were so many people in his sanctuary, and suddenly James and Wade were standing on the sidewalk once more.  
“You know”, Wade said after a moment of silence. “That Loki guy is taller than I expected. The videos from the Battle of New York and from Germany kind of screw him over.” 

__James stared back at him, thoroughly non-plussed._ _

___“Of all the things in the world, _this__ is what you chose to focus on?”  
“He’s hot”, Wade quipped.  
“And taken”, James pointed out with a smile.  
“Wait, what? Really?” Wade replied, the white eyes of his mask widening.  
“And happily so”, James nodded. “Hawkeye called dibs.”  
“I’m so freaking jealous”, Wade blurted out, waving his arms around. “Why are all the hot ones taken?” 

__James slipped his fingers under his toolbelt and pulled him flush against him, making Wade squawk._ _

___“I’m hot and I’m free”, he purred in his ear, and Wade froze.  
“I think I just came a little”, he replied finally, eyes widened in awe.  
“How about I make it a lot?”_

__Wade agreed eagerly, before pulling back with a pensive frown._ _

__“…How many times have you seduced me?”_ _

__James grinned and tugged him close._ _

__“More than enough to know how to make you scream.”_ _

__Eight years? He might as well do whatever he wants._ _

__*_ _

__Bucky was head over heels for Tony at some point after their fiftieth date. Granted, he and Tony had to wear masks to prevent from losing their heads over each other. But he knew Tony liked oysters more than what was reasonable and wouldn’t hesitate to risk an indigestion over them. He knew he despised mushrooms, and he knew he’d grown with terrible daddy-issues. He knew, though the how ashamed him, that Tony had been completely sober for close to eight years now, but that this was in no way a war he considered won. He knew he had sleepless nights where he felt like he was crawling out of his own skin, and others where he woke up screaming with the sight of aliens ship still burnt on his eyelids. He knew there was _something_ , out there, that scared him beyond words._ _

__He knew Peter meant the world to him and that he’d rather tear it apart than watch Peter suffer. He knew Pepper and Rhodey were the ones who’d known him the longest, but Steve was his closest friend. He knew they were like brothers, and he had found it a bit disturbing at first. He knew Tony had a terrible sense of humour, and he knew technology always sparked a light in his eyes. He knew he’d worn his hair buzzed as a teen because he couldn’t handle the soft curls he had. He knew he wanted desperately to be proud to be an Omega, and yet derived an enormous inferiority complex from it. He knew Tony used humour as a shield when he was scared beyond his wits, and that the more he was in pain, the more he would joke._ _

__He knew Steve had given him his leather jacket because of the scent, and couldn’t bring himself to be upset about it. Instead, he wrapped the one he now wore around his shoulders and smiled in delight at the sight of the large jacket hanging over the Omega’s smaller frame. He knew that on his bad days, Tony drowned in guilt and self-hate, and that it was harder not to drink then. He knew Peter crawled in his mother’s bed when one of them was upset. He knew Tony trained hard to stay strong and fit, and that he worked even harder to be a good father._ _

__He knew all of this, and he was in love._ _

__

___James, though? James was something else entirely. James easily turned to drunken violence, or to rough sex, or both. James had little to no qualms about hurting Tony or Steve. James was broken in many ways that Tony couldn’t change. Wade couldn’t change them either, but he understood, and he could handle him. James was losing his grip and it scared him. And when he was scared, he lashed out. James tried to find a way out._  
And that, Wade understood too.  
*  
Bucky was in love, and he wanted Tony to be safe from him. He wanted Tony to be able to be around him without being bothered, and the muzzle was a pain to get to him. So Bucky turned to scent-suppressants, trying them one after the other until he could find the right one. 

__James reminded him how he’d killed Tony’s parents, and why Tony, the Tony who wasn’t stuck in a time-loop, would never want him. James ripped the muzzle off and took whatever he wanted, leaving nothing but pain and destruction in his wake. James could handle many things._ _

__But he couldn’t handle love._ _

__*_ _

__Bucky had settled in a routine – break out of HYDRA, and woo Tony. He’d tried everything he could think of, filing away for later what Tony liked best. The fair was a no-no, because Tony always ended up freaking out there. _World War Z_ was a no-no too, because if there was one thing Tony found absolutely horrific, it was zombies. Having him curled against his side was good, but not enough to put him through several nights of nightmares. Dinner was good, but complicated. The vacation in Paris was nice in theory. In practice, though, it was too close to being a kidnapping to be good. The arcade date, so far, was the one that never went wrong. Never._ _

__Bucky was in love, and James couldn’t care less. Or so he said. Over the years, James had considerably mellowed out to Tony. He’d gone as far as to save him, so Bucky thought it was pretty good. James wasn’t more stable, or calmer, or more moral. But Bucky’s feelings were strong enough to get to him. James wasn’t falling in love, no._ _

__No, he was sliding gently, imperceptibly, without noticing it.  
Until it was already too late._ _

__*_ _

__Bucky was nervous, and so James was close to the surface. Tony was sleeping peacefully in his arms, warm and familiar. It was the fifth day of the last loop. Bucky knew he would probably not hold him like this before quite some time. He couldn’t afford to fuck this up – there was too much at stake, and Tony meant too much to him. He _wanted_ their relationship to go somewhere. He was ready for something more. It didn’t mean he wasn’t scared._ _

__“I love you”, he whispered in the dead of the night. “I can’t wait to see you again.”_ _

__He shivered as he let James take over, smoothing over his nerves with confidence._ _

__“I’m not the man you want”, James whispered. “Bucky is that man, not me. And you wouldn’t like another man, even if he wore his face, to be what he is to you.” He paused. “I love you. Not the way you deserve, and not the way you want, but I love you. So I entrust you to him, and him to you. I guess, what I mean is… this is goodbye, Tony Stark. It was a pleasure knowing you.”_ _

__Gently, he laid a kiss on his cheek and closed his eyes as midnight rolled. Releasing his hold on Bucky’s body, and finally letting Winter turn into Spring._ _

__*_ _

__Bucky opened his eyes and smiled._ _

___Today._ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it, as usual don't hesitate to comment, either here or on tumblr/twitter.


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